Sunday, September 26, 2010

week 4

Week 4 is done! FINALLY! 

21.89 miles total this week.
This week was a difficult week for me and my running.  It was the first week that I actually questioned deep down if this was a good idea to sign up for this half marathon. 

I started this week, as I always do on Tuesday night, with a speed workout.  I was not able to complete what was expected for the day.  I left the gym feeling down and dejected.  I decided to just let that run go and move onto my next run with a clean slate.  The next run was a 5 mile run.  I ended up having to run it on a treadmill.  I don’t like running on treadmills! It was a struggle.

Having 2 runs in a row that were a struggle really broke my confidence.  Up until now, I have been telling people that I am running a half-marathon and believing within myself that I will get there.  After those 2 runs I was no longer sure if I could do it.  My next run was a “short” 4 miler.  I was finally able to run outside.  Around mile 3, I had to stop running and I ran for part of it.  I haven’t had to walk during a run since I started running about 5 years ago! This was demoralizing. After that I was certain that I would not be able to run the half marathon. 

I looked forward to the rest of the week.  With only 2 more runs left in the week, I figured I might as well finish it out.  I ran 3 miles the next day, super slow but I completed it.  I was on shaky ground.  I looked ahead and I had a 6 mile run.  I was nervous and doubting myself completely.

I woke up this morning wishing I could just sleep the day away and avoid the run.  I eventually got out of bed and got dressed.  I got some water in me and for the first time, I used an energy gel.  I tried my sportbeans (made by jelly belly).  And hoped that it would enough to get me through it.  I began to procrastinate…played solitaire, even contemplated doing laundry! I decided to bite the bullet and get out there.  I began running and somehow got through it.  I even felt good at some points of the run. 

I still don’t feel confident in my ability to run the half marathon.  I am looking ahead and it will only get tougher from here on out.  I just have to take it one run at a time.  

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